Dishes

After having spent countless hours laughing my sizable arse off from reading prank emails at Don'tEvenReply.com, I decided it might be fun to go on Craigslist and find a victim of my own.  So here it is for your reading pleasure: I give you dish lady.

Original Ad:

Needed: Dishes

I am looking for dishes. If you have any dishes you don't need, please let me know and I will come pick them up!
I am especially looking for older looking, vintage floral pattern dishes, but anything will do. Thanks!

Email from Me to Heather: 

Hello,

I saw your ad on Craigslist saying you needed dishes or something?  Well, I got dishes. You want them?  They've been in my garage for a couple of years now so they're probably dusty, are you using them for anything in particular? 

Let me know if your interested,

-Mitchell

 

Heather to Me: 

 

Yes, I would be interested.  Could you send me a quick photograph? And what city do you live in?

Me to Heather:

I live in Draper city, UT, but if that's too far for you I'd be happy to mail them to you if your interested.  Anyway I attached a quick pic I took of one of the dishes.  I wiped off most of the dust so you can see it better.  Let me know when you want the plates delivered, thanks. 

 Heather to Me:


Thanks for the picture.  These dishes would be great.  My husband and I will be in Sandy on Saturday, so we'd love to come pick them up since Draper is so close.  What time would be best for you?

Me to Heather: 

You like the dishes then?  Great!  I've been meaning to get them off my property for a while, since this German fella keeps sending me threatening letters for having them.  He claims that it's the property of the "Fuher" or something of the sort.  Weird huh?  What the hell is a fuher?  On that note however, I also have a stash of German porn I've been looking to get rid of, any chance you'd want that too?  They're just about as old as the dishes anyway.

How Martians Changed my Life

Let's talk about movies, shall we?  I've been rather bored today, (at least during the times I haven't been working on something) and I wanna talk about something that has always been an interest to me.

Movies have always been a sizable portion of my life, in ways both good and bad.  When I was around 6 or 7, I recall having been shown the film "Mars Attacks!" by one of my babysitters.  The film in question, for those who haven't heard of it, revolves around aliens from mars and their nonsensical attack on human-kind.  I say nonsensical because, in the movie, the aliens never really give a valid reason for their attacking of earth, and appear to be doing it just for giggles if nothing else.  Of course, being 6-7, I couldn't have cared less about the plot, as I was simply mesmerized by the f***-ugly martian invaders.  Those big cartoon eyeballs, those skeletal faces, those big brains... all of which made for the scariest thing I'd ever see as a child.

Here we see one of the f***-ugly martians politely escorting a constipated Jack Nicholson out of the building.

So, why do I bring up the film that gave me nightmares as a kid?  Because despite the fact that those manic, wide-eyed skeletons would haunt my subconscious for years to come, their creative design and unique look would be one of the main reasons I become interested in the world of cartooning.  A world which I have yet to escape, but now realize I would never want to leave.

Hmm.  Looks like I changed the subject matter a bit there haven't I?  I set out to talk about movies, but just wound up talking about my creepy inspiration for my cartoons.  I guess this explains why I never drew smiley face suns like the other kids used to draw...

Grimacing Sun: Nick Lives age 12

...And with that image fresh in your head, I bid you all good day.