But hey, let's play fair here. Maybe I'm simply not hip enough to understand the appeal of dance parties. Perhaps, in some way, my nerdy nature has caused me to dislike all things deemed "cool." So that being said, let's see what sorts of things other, less nerdy people, love about dance parties.
The following is a series of "tips" on how to get the most out of a dance party. This article was written on a wiki and was edited by people with user names like "Rafabemerguy" and "Zareem," which both sound like dumb "rapster" names a couple of dumbass teenagers might give themselves; so I'd say we got a pretty reliable source here. Tell me oh mighty rapsters, how DO I have fun at a dance party?
-Have Fun!
Well no shit. Here I was thinking that the only way to have fun was to try and NOT have fun, but you've certainly shown me the light, Mr. Awesome guy. But I still wonder: what other things BESIDES HAVING FUN must one do to have fun at a dance party?
-Dance for every dance even though your not good enough or don't know what to do.
This right here is the problem with society. People doing things regardless of whether or not they are actually talented. Why should I dance if I suck at it? Oh, and for the record: if "jumping up and down while waving your hands in the air" counts as dancing, then me vomiting on your new rug should count as abstract art.
-Get some of your friends and dance together.
How does one dance "with" someone anyway? I mean when it comes to the classic ballroom stuff, it's clear that they're dancing with one another because they are literally holding hands and dancing in unison. But when it comes to the type of dancing people do at dance parties, dancing "together" seems to simply mean "dancing within roughly the same vicinity of one another," which is stupid because it always means that one of you or your idiot friends are bound to eventually swing one of your arms too wildly and smack someone in the face. Everything's better in groups, right? I suppose pain applies to that rule as well.
-Ask someone to dance when it is a slow song! You don't want to look like a loner/something else when everyone else is slow dancing.
I think whoever added this in to the wiki might have gotten "dance parties" confused with "school dances," because I can't remember the last time a dance party DJ started playing "Can you feel the love tonight."
-REMEMBER if you want to do anything embarrassing then get your friends and do it together so you all get embarrassed! (Not just one person.)
Once again, this goes along with the mentality that everything is done better in groups. "Hey guys! I have a totally awesome idea! Let's go hurl ourselves out a third story window! But for safety, let's do it together so we won't embarrass ourselves individually." The ironic thing about this tip is, if you and your friends are all at a dance party together in the first place, then congratulations, you're already embarrassing yourselves.
-If someone rejects you don't spaz or get mad just keep being happy and just continuing dancing with your friends and try to avoid that person for the rest of the party so you don't have to deal with them.
Yeah, 'cause that's how adults handle their problems, by avoiding them completely. This little tip is supposedly connected to the previous tip about making an idiot out of yourself, except this tip deals with the consequences of such an action. Maybe people wouldn't "reject" you so much if you weren't purposefully acting like an idiot the whole time. Also if the word "spaz" is still in your vocabulary after you've graduated from Middle School, you deserve to get a dictionary shoved up your nostrils.
-Don't worry but the guy/girl cause they might be your Boyfirend/Girlfriend
This is barely a coherent sentence, let alone a good tip about how to have fun at dance parties. I shouldn't worry about guys or girls because they might be my boyfriend or girlfriend? What the hell does that mean? If this is the kind of stuff people worry about at dance parties, I want no part in that shit.
That is all I have to say on the subject for now. Check back here when I think of more things to rant about.
